These are the days...

I have much to do these next few days, my friends, so pardon me if I slow down on my writing.

My kids were released from school at 12:00 today and are out for the rest of the week. So, my main goal is to spend their waking hours doing things with them that they will enjoy and remember. They grow so quickly you forget these days. You forget when you could hold them in the crook of your arm, when you were just beginning to discover who they are. We also have school conferences tonight. I have a pretty good idea what each teacher will say, as I am in their classes every week. But going to conferences is what we do, because it's good for all of us. Someday soon they will be going off to high school and college, and these days will be gone. They won't seek my attention the way they do now. They will become more of themselves, and less of what I demand them to be.

The last few days of running have been challenging. Wind and more wind. I really don't care for the weather pattern right now. I have been marking off the miles, though. Yesterday, I did my hill workout, and it was really tough. I could feel my muscles getting heavy and my lungs burning. I have been fatigued this week, so I am not surprised. My body needs more water and less caffeine and other crap. I haven't been eating well, either. But each run continues to hold at least a small whisper of happiness within. Yesterday, I was cooling down the last few blocks, singing to Stevie Wonder out loud. I think I made one of the neighbors smile, or laugh.

Homework. Very disenchanted with this process now. I feel like I am just recycling sentences.

The recent tragedy in Afghanistan is really pulling me back to my pacifist roots. I know why the military does what it does to people. I understand we have to protect ourselves. I understand that violence happens in all parts of the world. It just depresses the hell out of me sometimes that there is so much and there seems to be so little to do. I know there are things you can do, and I hate to even enter into this discussion with myself because I've been here before and it seems selfish and circular. Change the world. Help me figure it out.

Speaking of figuring out, I had a hilarious discussion with a friend about myself. And, I think we came to the conclusion that I make no sense. So, now that we have that established, we can at least laugh at my attempts at interacting with other human beings in any sort of fashion.

Enough, already. We are going to pet kittens and have fun.

Listen to Natalie Merchant:

These are days.
These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break.
These days you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face.
And when you do you'll know how it was meant to be.
See the signs and know their meaning.
It's true, you'll know how it was meant to be.
Hear the signs and know they're speaking to you, to you.



ps. Don't let the bitterness get the best of you. Let us see the rest of you.


Holly J