Feeling the Positive

Man,
I wore myself out today (Thurday---I am writing in the wee hours of Friday).
Got up early to get the boy to school. Then my girl was ready for her Mommy and Me day at 8 am. I usually have to wake her up at that time on a school day, but she was raring to go. So we went to breakfast, shuttled kittens for a checkup at the Humane Society, went to Goodwill and scored on some books, did a little necessary shopping (well, the Avril LaVigne CD was a little treat) and then ended at the library. More books, movies, and another AL CD on loan. Had just enough time to cash in on a free smoothie before the boy got home, then hanging out, dinner and a brutal soccer game. Played short for half the game, but I played well. I am happy about that. I really did my best.

The upside is that everyone had a good day. I spent time giving my kids what they needed. I spent at least 44 minutes not worrying about anything but soccer.

I currently have a dilemma about taking on another job as a driver's ed. instructor. Okay, y'all stop laughing now. I just don't think I can sacrifice 120 hours of my life to train for a job I might like, maybe. It's another obligation. The guy is a hard sell. He wants me there, wants to make it work. "We just really liked you. We think you will do a great job." Sure. Another person who is trying to draw on my people pleasing tendencies. ERGHH.

I need to take some time to think about all the things. I have to make the kids first priority and work out a schedule with their father, and hopefully communicate to him in some way that he understands that I don't wish to argue anymore. I am literally sick of it. If he is happy in his life, then why not choose to get along?????

Secondly, my career is at a point in which I have some things to pick and choose from, which may benefit me in a number of ways, but I cannot sacrifice my kids.

Finally, I have to engage in putting myself first when I have time to myself. The things that I love: writing, running, soccer, etc. and not be afraid to seek out people and places that support these positive things, instead of hiding in my little home-cave, feeling sorry for myself. I also thought of at least three different things I can do at work to be a positive force.

Feeling positive. Hope it sticks.

Hollyj