Just stepping off the curb...

So there I was, leaving the Goodwill store, with my purchase of river hat and cute red skirt for Cinco De Mayo. I stepped off the curb in a pair of my favorite Danskos without seeing the large rock that made my right foot roll to the outside, and down I went like a sack of yams. OUCH. I did not hear any bad sounds or feel anything give, so I was hopeful that it was just a strain. I walked around for another 30 minutes or so, just to feel it out and make certain that it was not too painful, as in, needing to go to Urgent Care or something like that. I have no health insurance, so I really don't need another bill to pay. I came home and wrapped with an ACE bandage, toodled around the house for awhile, sweeping, mopping. I iced it for as long as I could stand and then took a hot shower. There were some twinges, a little cramping, definitely some soreness when I poked around, but I took 4 Ibuprofen after eating and called it good for the day. Of course I did not run, though I had planned to.

There was still bit of soreness this morning, but I was feeling so low today, that I decided to run. I went three miles. In fact, I had to keep myself from running four. It felt great to be out, the music was perfect, then the sun seemed to part the clouds and smile down on me. I really needed it. So, I am not scheduled to take any more rest days until Saturday. We'll see what the next two days bring.

I am really deep in thought about who I was, who I am, what the future holds. Not really a crisis, just a deep attentive observation of my motherhood, my professional direction, my relationships in general. There is quiet and music and noise and laughter and beauty and fear and light and color and so much more. How do I go from cute skirt to this existential mumbling?

When did I stop paying attention?