Bandaid

Im So Tired. Name of a song, y'know.

Woke up at 4 am, didn't really sleep after that. Torturous dreams of everything being taken away. Not much subconscious in that, is there?

Good things: made it through the day, managed things that needed managing, did not (yet) veg out on tv, went to an author's reading, got inspired.

Bad things: bummed out about lost relationship, spent time on fb, missed time with kids due to author thingy, worrying about long days alone, did not run, tired of myself, really, really tired of myself.

I want my hopes and good dreams to come true, but that comes with sacrifice, hard work, commitment, honesty and all that. What I realize more and more is that I won't be happy until I start practicing it all the time, or at least most of the time.

I ripped off the bandaid yesterday. Now I have to deal with the open wound.

Prayers. Please.

Hollyj