Tremors

Just a quick minute to say that I am exhausted. I slept last night, but my dreams were tortured. I woke up feeling achey and awful and moody.

I should run today, but I can't get it together. I came home from work and just cried. It is so difficult to want something so badly. So badly that you want to train yourself not to want it anymore so that you can stop feeling the horrible emptiness, longing, sadness. That you are just waiting for that inevitable shoe to drop. You go to work. You paste on a smile.

When I am nervous or upset, my hands start to shake. I can hardly type today because of the tremors.

I suppose I should use the power of positive thinking, that I should "actualize" myself into being the person who gets what she wants. And I usually do. But today, the 10th of June, I am struggling with that.

And you know my hormones are probably bouncing everywhere right now, so my coping skills are not sharp.

I'm going to go and get some things done now that will help me to progress.

So again I ask for a prayer.


And I will repeat my mantra and believe that tomorrow will be a better day.
"That's what she says, but sometimes she forgets."