Merry Christmas

Wow.
I am sitting on my little sofa, winding down from the day.

All of my children are under the roof on Christmas morning for the first time in five years. And even then, it was tenuous. Ellie asked me today about my favorite Xmas, and I can't honestly remember one. I seem to always remember tension, even as a child.

I hope there is still some magic left for my little ones. I also hope they are aware that they are pretty lucky. I sent John Lennon's "Happy Xmas" out on FB. I know it's brutal, but I think we should think about those who are grieving or suffering in other ways, when we have so much. I felt pretty guilty wrapping the presents as it was.

It brings me to question myself. What am I doing? Am I changing the world as much as I can? Am I an example for my children? I think I have claimed the strain of survival for a long time. When and how will I start acting on my beliefs in a determined fashion?

I ran Saturday. That was it for the week (except for soccer). It is already Tuesday and who knows if I will run this week?

I must get some sleep. I told the kids they could wake me at 7, and since I am on the couch, it'll probably be earlier.

So much has changed since this day last year. So much. I can hardly believe the things that are now taking place.

I am thankful for the grace I have been given.

hollyj