Pride and Joy

I am not going to run today. I should. Some days I just don't have the mental component it takes. Although it would probably improve my mental state. There's your irony. While I am happy that I have stuck with it this long with any sort of consistency, I am really hoping to get back to those 15-20 mile weeks again. Fall is my favorite running season, so I feel hopeful.

I am getting a surprising amount of substitute work. I thought I would hate it. My first assignment was middle school,which I swore I would never do again. What I have realized is how little confidence I had when I subbed for the first time 12 years ago. (Twelve years. Geez.) At any rate, It felt great to do something well. There were a few moments of middle school hijinks, but it felt good overall. I made a positive connection at that school. I was proud of myself for just a moment.

In addition, it helps to know money will be trickling in. Sometimes I cannot believe how lucky I have been. So many people out there, suffering and homeless. But for the grace in the universe, that would be me. I don't like this struggling, and at my age, I have felt like I have been stripped of all the hard work I have done. Certainly some of it has been my choice. But when I am feeling full of desperation, i try to remind myself that I still have four healthy kids, a roof over my head, food in the cupboards and so many friends that show their love for me on a daily basis.

Thank you all for your support.

Hollyj