Pain is the theme of today.
I hoped I would have a better outlook No one seems to understand what I am trying to do here. I am in the process of becoming a better person and all I am met with is that I am somehow putting the onus on them, blaming. If Im blaming anyone, it's me. My lack of faith in everything.
And I could barely move today. I think something is very wrong. I finally ate. But I had to sit in the same position all day, doing these repetitive tests. My body was killing me and my head started to ache. But again there is nothing I can do. I can't cancel out on anyone now.
If I can make it through tomorrow, I will be okay.
Sorry to continue the negative. I am just hoping to write it out, get clear and find a good place. And many things to do before it's too late.
Hanging on.
Hollyj
Running. Life after 40. Motherhood. Relationships. Education. Philosophy. Social Justice. Literature. Music.
Pain is hell. It's motivated. It's controlling. I remember this time in France there was this girl who was so worried about finding a way out of the country, she was lost and in pain mentally worried and confused and all she needed was someone who spoke english. Sometimes you just have to wait for the right scenario to take place and it renders the cure. A good way out of pain or worrysome is ignorance. However sometimes it is best to face things head on and push through the times and find someone who cares. Thats the hardest part about pain. Waiting for the healing scenario to find its way in. They call me David in France.
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