Monkeys

It has been a long time my friends, three weeks or so. My running is still at once or twice a week, but I am playing soccer 2x/week, and I have been justifying this, but let's be real. It seems if I don't run more like 2-3 times per week, then I gain weight. No that much, but that kind of weight that tells you your muscles are smaller and your fat deposits are bigger. I am thinking maybe of quitting soccer for the time being and getting back to the running part of things. Not that any of that is super important, but I like to feel strong, light and powerful.

The fly in the ointment: I have not been feeling well. Tummy troubles I think. So, when I have gone running, I feel quite a bit of fatigue. Is that because I have not been running consistently or because I am sick? Don't know, but apparently they are putting tubes in me with the cameras attached. Should I post the film? :)
No coffee, no Pepsi, no alcohol. I think I have become a rather morose person because of this.

Oh, and my car broke down a little over a week ago. Yeah. Wondering about whether this is karma for a past life or my current one.

Hiring season is here, and I just feel a lack of motivation to do what needs to be done and put myself on that hamster wheel again, so I can go to interviews for jobs that have already been filled.

Then there is the Boston Marathon. I don't pretend to understand people, not really. But if you are a runner then you know how much that moment meant to those people, and more importantly, how those that lost limbs and lives, and how their families must feel. It is way beyond my understanding.

To say the least, It has been rough the last week or more.

And I am just now seeing the truth of what my relationship is. I have to decide whether to assign meaning, and what exactly is important, and get rid of the monkey that is on my back, no matter what.

Carry on,

Holly