Hanging.

Pain is the theme of today.

I hoped I would have a better outlook No one seems to understand what I am trying to do here. I am in the process of becoming a better person and all I am met with is that I am somehow putting the onus on them, blaming. If Im blaming anyone, it's me. My lack of faith in everything.

And I could barely move today. I think something is very wrong. I finally ate. But I had to sit in the same position all day, doing these repetitive tests. My body was killing me and my head started to ache. But again there is nothing I can do. I can't cancel out on anyone now.

If I can make it through tomorrow, I will be okay.

Sorry to continue the negative. I am just hoping to write it out, get clear and find a good place. And many things to do before it's too late.

Hanging on.

Hollyj